Tuesday, June 13, 2006

My heart is a theme park

This is so sad. My own blog address is no longer on my drop down screen! It has been exactly one month since I have updated so if you're actually reading this you are such a sweet friend to still check in with us! I promise I will be better in the future!

Soooo much has happened in my heart and life since the last update and I really do feel like I've been on a roller coaster. I guess the biggest thing has been finally arriving at the decision to resign from my teaching position and become a full time mom! My last day was today and it felt pretty surreal (but tomorrow we go to the beach so all is ok!).
This has been such a struggle for me...not because I don't want to stay home with my child, but because I didn't think it would be financially possible. I still get REALLY freaked out when I start crunching numbers. This is a huge step of faith to reduce our income to ONE teacher's salary! I know so many do this and do this well, but it is so scary! I have to say though, that in the midst of all my fear and doubt, God has poured out His kindness to us and has made it clear that this is what He is calling us to. And apparently Josh listens better because he arrived at this conclusion a long time ago.....WAY before me! I have had so many conversations that have just confirmed to me over and over that this is what I need to do. I guess it's just a little harder not knowing the joy on the other side of this. I have to trust all the moms that have told me how worth it it is. (and by the way, if you're reading this and bouncing a little one on your lap at the same time, please feel free to include any advice you might have for me!)

So, from a rookie to those of you that are out there on this journey a few steps ahead of me (or a lot) please respond and tell me your story. How did you reach this decision and how has God proven faithful to provide even when it didn't work out on paper (my worst fear)? And feel free to include any budget-cutting tips or things that you have found to be helpful in sticking to a very modest budget. Also, please share this blog with other women you think could offer insight (I'm desperate, people).

I know that I serve a faithful God and that He will provide and equip us for anything He calls us to. I have to remind myself of that often or ask others to, but He has comforted my heart and confirmed His calling to me. Thank you to those of you He has used to remind me of that! It was pretty scary handing in my classroom keys and shaking my principal's hand today and then I think to myself, "Seriously, Dana. How much security did you really think you had in that job (or any other job) anyway?" My security is not in a job or paycheck or account balance...it's in the God of all riches and the One who provides my every need anyway....whether it comes in the form of a paycheck or not. This has been good for my heart to really feel my need for Him. I get so comfortable so easily and I should know by now that sooner or later He will graciously yank me out of that!

So, keep checking back (now that you know I will be here at home more) as I will be tracking my journey and keeping you updated. Also, I will try to get some preggy pictures on here soon. I am getting huge! (you should see my feet and ankles....it's pitiful!) I can't believe that we are only 7 weeks away from our due date (Aug 4th). That sends me into a tail spin....I don't feel ready AT ALL!!!! And, for the record, I think this is going to be a precious, little boy..... this child is VERY active!