The Undoing and a Shift

Have you ever experienced God obviously calling out your sin and bringing you gentle proof after proof of it? And then stringing together conversations and moments and readings about that very sin, and showing them to you one after another?

Here's the thing: I often don't love like a mom when I'm being a mom. I'm not always here when I'm physically here.


I'm distracted. They want to talk. I have an agenda that "needs" to get accomplished. They get in my way. (They need a lot.) Then there's facebook (and blogs). Oh, facebook. He has a dirty diaper and he needs help with his shoes. And the etsy shop. And the messy house. And they want me to build them a fort. And my expectations for the day. And they want to eat ALL the time. (They need a lot.) And sometimes, I want to be anywhere but here.


Some days, I just drift.... and live inside my head....disconnected from the 2 eternal souls at my waist.


Enter this post called "What Housework is Really About." (And this one too. What can I say? The Lord was speaking loudly.)


And then this one called "Life with Little People Part 1" and "Part 2."


Enter tears. Enter sobbing tears. Enter pulling each boy onto my lap and looking into their beautiful blue eyes. Enter tearful confessions to each sweet son. Enter the undoing. Enter precious forgiveness.


I want to want to be here. This. It's where He has graciously put me. I'm afraid I'll miss it.


It won't always be this, you know. The cuddle sessions, boo-boos that need kissing, snacks and juice, boy games and blanket forts, rhyming and opposites, tickles and knee pinchers, first questions about the essence of God and Jesus and us, shoe tying and teeth brushing, training and instruction, chore charts and vivid imaginations, little boy laughter.

Even all the picking up and wiping down and gluing back and putting away.


I feel the undoing happening to me. Acknowledging. Releasing. Letting go.


Coming back to here.


This.

What we do when packed in ice

In no particular order and because I'm a tad bored....


Put the children to work doing manual labor.


Josh has joked before that we should have made Manny's middle name "Labor." Emmanuel Labor. Get it? Yeah, I know.

Josh found my very first trumpet and insisted that I give Isaiah his first trumpet lesson. (We were both music majors and constantly go back and forth about whether or not the boys are talented enough to play our instrument. It's all very mature.)

I think I might frame this one. What a proud moment for me.
(I'm sparing you the video)


I made a few Valentine's Day lovelies!


And finished a few orders...


Josh built a fort for the boys...




I took WAY too many pictures of icicles. But they were really cool!




And finally covered some ugly pillows. I plan to make shams to cover the red ones next.

You can't see the pattern well in the picture, but I love it. AND it's like I got 2 new pillows for $6!


Sweet nap times...


Made the yummy marshmallows I posted about. (Have you made them?!?)


And when I was REALLY bored, I convinced this cutie that he wouldn't look like a girl if he let me put his hair in a ponytail. I don't think he looks like a girl AT ALL...more like a very handsome athlete.
I don't think he or Josh agree with me.


And this may mean that we are near the breaking point and NEED TO GET OUT before I start sewing the boys dresses.

Pillowy Clouds of White Delight (revisited)

Once upon a time last year I made THESE.


(You can read about it and see the pictures here.)


And then a few angels came down from heaven and threatened to beat me up if I didn't give them some. True story. They're THAT good.


(I'm just so glad I've finally overcome my exaggeration tendencies).


So, since the Snowpocalypse of 2011 has descended upon us, I've decided to make them again. (The yummy syrupy mixture is simmering on the stove right now.) And I thought that the most loving thing I could do for you right now was to gently point you into the direction of puffy, soft, sweet goodness.





Now, say you're blind....and you aren't sold on these, allow me to appeal to your pride: you can announce that you are making these FROM SCRATCH on your facebook status (like I just did...it helps to type things in all caps, btw. you'll get more attention) and have all your friends think you are SOOO intimidating.

Also, if your children ever grow up and say to a therapist that you weren't a good mother, you can say, "Shut up. I MADE you marshmallows."


And if you STILL need convincing, I can tell you from experience that making these little squares of euphoria will ensure that:
1) people will like you more,
2) you will become instantly more beautiful,
3) the world will turn into white sugar and
4) heaven will come down and visit you.

(Give them what they want).

Lists

Whew! We made it!


Sorry about the absence of posts last month. Very anti-climatic after a relaunch, huh? I hope you haven't given up on me forever. December came like a hurricane. Etsyians talk a lot about the craziness of the holidays and even gave us a Holiday Boot Camp plan that started back in October. In short, I should have followed that plan.


My little shop that I thought maybe 5 people would be interested in, reached over 150 sales in December (from July). That may not sound like a lot to you but when you consider that each sale takes several hours to complete....that's a lot of hours. Don't get me wrong. I'm so, so grateful. It has been a provision for our family that I never saw coming. God had amazingly blessed us through it and I really, really enjoy it.

But it was crazy.


So, here we are in January. It's only the 3rd day of a fresh, new year. And this is the time of year where I dream big, come up with tons of goals and then work my stomach into knots thinking of all that entails. I'm the type of person who is NOT a natural planner. I am also the type of person that doesn't get much done without a plan.


I have about a million things jumping around in my head right now and so, instead of me just jotting them down on scrap pieces of paper and putting them up on my already-cluttered fridge, I will write a bunch of it down here and share it with you.

Who knows....maybe you have similar goals and ideas and we can inspire one another. I LOVE hearing about other people's goals. It's incredibly inspiring to me so it would tickle me pink if you would share a few of your goals/ideas for this year.


DIY Projects:

--make pillow shams and accent pillows for bed

--cover couch pillows

--finish upholstered, tuffted headboard for our room

--paint frames, fill with cute stuff and arrange over headboard.

--finish painting dresser and armoire in our room.

--hang window treatments in our room

--paint frames and freshen up decor in living room

--paint the guest bathroom and hang wall hooks for boy's towels

--look further into creating a pantry in our kitchen

--spruce up the boy's bedroom and playroom (take down Isaiah's nursery decor....geez)



Personal:

--wake up early enough each morning to have quiet time before the boy's wake up

--have scheduled reading time through the week for books that help me grow

--manage my time with the boys, keeping up with the house and managing my shop better

--have meal plans and, if possible, meals in the freezer each month

--carve out time for exercise


The boys:

--research and try to get a plan for homeschooling next year

--start prepping Isaiah for school more intentionally

--have more structure in our daily routine

--continue to work with Isaiah on his chore chart

--spend time each day ENGAGED and PLAYING with the boys


My Man:


--date night at least 2 times a month

--become more intentional about doing thoughtful, little things for him (notes mailed to work, etc)

--reserve enough energy through the day for when he comes home



Ok, I'm overwhelmed now. I'm sure I'll be revisiting this list and tweaking it into more manageable bite-sized pieces. I know some of these things are things that I will work my whole life to accomplish. I would simply like to GROW in those areas this year. :)


Your turn! What's on YOUR list????

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is thy faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."

Lam 3: 22-24