Fret not yourself

Through tears and panic I read the sweetest verse the other day. Luke 12:32...

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom"

I honestly don't know if I've ever read that before, though I've read Luke several times. It's one of those things where God reveals a verse to you like it's the first time and your heart really gets it. Anxiety has definitely been the unwanted guest in my heart lately....mainly due to a rash. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is in my family and I've noticed a rash that's come and gone pretty much since I've had Isaiah. I never thought much about it because it almost covered my whole body at one point and then went away. This one area is the last to leave and it was when I researched the symptoms of IBC that I freaked out. At the time, if felt like I had several symptoms and I was convinced I had breast cancer.

This is something I've battled for awhile now. Not just the fear of cancer but being convinced that I will have it eventually. I have no idea where this all started...probably too much reading and definitely too much idle thinking. I feared the diagnosis, treatment, more fear, prognosis, leaving Isaiah and Josh and anything else Satan brought to mind. All of this built up fear came to a head this past weekend. I have been battling a cold that feels like it's gone straight to the reasoning part of my brain. I was completely handicap. No matter how many scriptures and promises I read or how much I talked through it or prayed through it, this intense fear did not let up. I cried off and on all weekend out of sheer panic and had constant headaches. It would let up some then hit me hard again. Despite missing church because I didn't feel good (probably the worst decision) we had a very busy Sunday planned with my sister-in-law's birthday and a good family friend flying in from Norway for Christmas. I just couldn't wait to get to my in-law's house where hundreds of distractions would greet me. I didn't want to think anymore. On the way there it hit again...probably the hardest and as I was reading promises again. I truly felt like I couldn't control it and it wouldn't stop. I was crying and having trouble breathing, but in the midst I had the clearest thought from the Lord. "This is much more about what's going on in your mind than your body." I told to Josh to please pray for me and as he did it just completely lifted and peace came for the first time all weekend.

I am convinced that there is something uniquely powerful about having someone else intercede for you that didn't happen when I was just praying for myself. As Josh prayed against Satan's attack on my mind the fear and panic just left. I don't know if I had a panic attack or not, but it is abundantly clear that God is teaching me to put my trust in Him....and even more that He is able to cause my heart to trust Him when I clearly can't on my own. I was completely unable.

Through the whole journey, the verses I read sank deep in my heart calling it to once again stop trying to save itself....."Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." It's easy to call your life "rubbish" when things are fine, but at the very thought that things weren't fine my heart tightened it's grip like a little girl clutching the toy she didn't want to surrender and shouting "mine!" I'm not sure this ever gets any easier. I am sure that my heart desperately needed to go through it and will again over and over.

Update Friday morning 11:00am:

I am just returning from the doctor's office where a very kind woman looked me over and basically just said that it looked like an ordinary rash or skin irritation that may or may not be caused by yeast (who knew?) and gave me a prescription for a cream. I told her my family history and she offered an ultrasound later if I was still worried, but didn't see any need for it now. She did however tell me that the "mini pill" I have been on is known to cause anxiety and depression as well as weight gain. I nearly cried right there from relief. I just had no idea what was going on with my body. This confirms my previous feelings about birth control and makes future decisions much easier.

Thank you for this journey, Lord. Forgive me for not trusting You. You are the God of my mind, body and heart and have proven over and over to be for me....all of me. Thank you for your grace and kindness. Help me to continue to treasure you above health, family, the future and all the unknowns You will call me to. You are good.

My "brush" at the mall

I woke up with a great plan of beating the crowds to Concord Mills to pick up a few things. I didn't quite get there as early as I wanted but at 10:30am it still wasn't bad yet so I was able to run into Bed, Bath and Beyond to get what I needed without too much trouble.

Now, since I've been at home I've had a morning ritual of having my coffee with Rachael Ray and Martha Stewart, and someone had told me last night that Martha would be at Books A Million today signing her new housekeeping handbook. The book is like $50.00 or something and to be honest, Martha really gets on my nerves and seems to be quite full of herself on TV but I really like what she does so I just endure her.

Well, I thought that if I could buy the book and get her to sign it I could sell in on Ebay and make a little off of it (I know, I know). When I got to Books a Million needless to say there was a line winding through the ailes to the back of the store...definitely not worth it. But, her chair and TV cameras were set up by the front window so I stood outside trying to decide if a picture of her on my cell phone was worth it.

I had just finished discussing this with my friend Laura and was fidgeting with my phone when I heard, "And Martha, you're going to go right this way." I looked up to realize that she, a very tall woman, a very tall man and a tiny, little cop were directly beside me and I was completely in their way! I literally hopped out of the way to not get walked on. She had come in through an exit door that I was standing right beside, but I thought she would come through the back of Books A Million. Her handlers were escorting her to the store and weren't stopping for me....rather they were just looking at me like, "Uh, move." So I got a picture of the side of her head (not recognizable) and this adorable Hispanic woman came up to me and loudly asked me as Martha was walking by in earshot, "Who is here?!?" I point and say, "That's her right there." "Who?" "Martha" "Martha who?" "Martha Stewart" "Oh, I don't know." She was truly the highlight.

If Martha had walked in 5 seconds earlier she would have heard me talking about how much she annoys me and how not worth waiting for this picture was. But, despite my pride I have to admit, when it comes to a celebrity I get just as giddy and excited as most of the general public....then try to act like I don't care.

My impression? She's much taller and thinner than she appears on TV (of course) and she wears an incredible amount of makeup (of course).

Oh, and be sure to look for my thighs on channel 9 news. I was standing behind Martha looking through the window while they were interviewing her (she was sitting) and it didn't occur to me that the camera was rolling. Oh boy!

"Sick" day

I woke up at 5:00am yesterday morning to Josh running into our room from the computer, diving onto the bed and exclaiming, "I not go to school!" in his cute little boy voice. So that was that. Everything was already done. The sub was hired, plans were made and the day off was official. He did have a lot of work to do on his master's class but that didn't stop us from acting like it was any other Saturday. We layed around, had a big breakfast, played A LOT of Sudoku (addictive, don't start) and finally cranked up the Christmas music classics and put up the tree.

It really was a fun day, and even though he had to stay up late to get all his work done we fell asleep with the glow and sparkle of our first Christmas tree as a family of three.

Lanier Update

For those of you who haven't heard, beautiful Karis Faye Lanier peeked her head into the world (rather she was pushed, pulled and everything else) at 2:08pm this afternoon. She was a whopping 9 lbs 7 oz and 21 1/2 inches long....big girl!!! She has cute curly brown hair and blue-gray eyes....she's going to be a heartbreaker.

Stacey was such a trooper and is doing fine.....exhausted but fine. It was really cool to watch her just so naturally transition into being a nurturing, loving mom. She was definitely made for this. I'll let them give the detailed update with pictures, but I am a proud aunt and couldn't help but share.

Thank you, Jesus for a beautiful, healthy, strong niece and godly, elated, sleep deprived parents.

Check their blog for updates here.

The Nativity Story

Has anyone seen this movie??? I haven't and admit to having low expectations, but this morning I was reading on "girl talk" (a blog by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters/in law) about their experience going to see it and it made me a bit curious. Here's an exerpt:


To borrow the words of Dr. Al Mohler from his review: “The movie faithfully presents the main thrust of the Christmas story. That is no small achievement. The movie, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, takes some liberties with the biblical accounts found in the gospels of Matthew and Luke. Nevertheless, the invented scenes and dialogue do not distract from the biblical storyline.”

The Nativity Story also proved to be very moving. It only took about thirty seconds before I was wiping my eyes. I found myself affected once again by the events surrounding my Savior’s birth. He entered this world with a glaring absence of celebration and fanfare: “And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:7) It’s a rare occasion when a movie provides such a sweet reminder.

Watch the trailor here.

First Christmas Practice

So I've decided that we will all wear reindeer antlers for our Christmas card this year (Josh is a little less than thrilled). I found these cute little head bands at the dollar store and thought how bad can it be...they were a buck! And Isaiah's light up!

I thought it might be good to get Isaiah used to the idea before we actually take the pictures and here's what I got. Hard to tell how he feels about it.

I probably should wait to tell Josh about the picture I saw of a family who had their kids all dress up in heavy coats, mittens and tobogans, and stick their tongues to a pole like Ralphie in The Christmas Story. I'll save that for next year.

Mr. Personality

Mornings with Isaiah are the best! Right after his first feeding of the day his little personality is in full swing.

We just recently pulled his exersaucer out of the box and gave it a whirl. He absolutely loves it! We have to stuff blankets all around him because he jumps so much and flings his little body everywhere when he gets excited. I laugh so hard at him! It's the best entertainment I can think of.

These are such treasured times and so far this is my favorite age (I hear great things about 6 mo though!). I tried to capture some of his adorable little traits and still only got a glimpse on camera but I wanted to share them anyway.

I have a short video clip of him playing in his exersaucer that I will post as soon as I figure out how.

Here's to my Little Man!

At the Zoo!

I volunteered to chaperone Josh's field trip to the Asheboro zoo last Wednesday. It was so much fun, and I have to admit, I had my reservations but Isaiah was so good and Josh's students loved him! We really enjoyed it, although not the best pictures. Isaiah pretty much slept through the whole thing which was probably best considering the anatomy lesson the other kids got from the monkeys!

Worth blogging twice in one day

I don't normally post twice in a day, but I just finished reading an article that challenged and, hopefully, changed me. I have to share it.

To aid you in your fight to be Christ-minded and not world-minded:


"Realize your outer nature is wasting away and inner nature must be renewed by setting your mind on things that are above.

Take radical steps to keep your mind pure.

Make God the gladness of all your joys.

See each person you meet as you will see them a hundred years from now.

Ponder that at every moment, even your happiest, there is misery and wailing in 10,000 places, some of them very near.

Remember Jesus’ warning about what chokes spiritual life: cares, riches and pleasures of life.

Be friends with spiritually minded people.

Read God-besotted, spiritually minded writers.

Ponder your life that will very soon be without a body.

Ask for spiritual-mindedness.

Go to the hospital to pray with a dying man.

Realize that millions of people in the other religions of the world are not looking for people with more American cultural coolness or techno savvy. They are looking for a “holy man,” a “man of God.”



This was taken from today's "Taste and See" article by John Piper. He wrote much more between each point so read it for yourself at www.desiringGod.org

Voting for Dummies

If you're like me you have tried to ignore all the mailings, commercials, news stories, debates, articles, etc until you became so sick and tired of all the mud slinging liars and cover-upers and realized "Hey, this guy could actually win!" For fear of having to endure these hand-shaking, baby-kissing, bash-you-over-the-head nice, politically nauseating commercials for the next year, I run to my computer and look up the easiest to follow voting guide (I, of course, threw mine away).

Ok, maybe it's just me. So even if you have been paying attention and forming educated views and opinions like a responsible citizen, this could still help you get ready for the polls on November 7th (it is the 7th, right?).

I was convicted of being indifferent and lazy on these issues that will effect us now, but also in a big way at the upcoming presidential election. This mid-term election IS a BIG DEAL.

Check out this easy NC voter's guide and please, go vote.

www.ncvotersguide.org


One more website of interest is www.christianvotes.com. It includes voting guides and a strong call on Christians especially to vote (even states not voting as sin).

A quote from the site:
"Each election year, Christians are offered the opportunity to make their voices heard. When the Christian votes, he or she is allowed the chance to set the moral tone for the future of local, state, and national leadership. It is critical that Christians fulfill their biblical obligation and take advantage of their right to vote."

Christmas traditions, please.

With our new budget and new baby this year, I am trying to get creative with gifts and would also like to start a few traditions that we can continue as Isaiah grows up and we have more children. I need ideas! I know many of you are a wealth of information in this area, so please share!

One idea for a tradition that I came across today was to write Isaiah a Christmas letter every year highlighting that year of his life...kinda like a month by month Christmas update that you send to family. It should be all about him and ways that he grew, special events that happened, things he learned, the anticipation of his birth (for this year), etc. The idea is to keep it a secret and give them to him in a keepsake box when he's 18 or starts middle school...some kind of milestone in his life.

If there has been a family tradition that you guys do or that you did growing up please share that with me. I would also love ideas on how to instill the true joy of celebrating Jesus' birth as well. Creative gift ideas for family are also very welcome (I may do a whole other blog on that!)

Hopefully, this will get the creative juices flowing!

Photo update

These first 3 all take place in about a 30 second time period....poor kid.

#4: Playing with Daddy

#5: Napping with Mommy

#6: Just hanging out on the floor at Nana's house (pretty smile!).

/>

Encouragment from my couch

So, I overslept this morning and didn't have enough time to get myself and Isaiah ready for church on time. Disappointing, but I took the opportunity to read today's reading out of Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening." So good.

"He will take what is mine and declare it to you." -- John 16:15

"There are times when all the promises and doctrines of the Bible are of no help unless a gracious hand applies them to us. We are thirsty but are too faint to crawl to the waterbrook. When a soldier is wounded in battle, it is of little use for him to know that there are those in the hospital who can bind up his wounds and medicines to ease all the pains that he now suffers: What he needs is to be carried there and have the remedies applied. It is the same with our souls, and to meet this need there is one, even the Spirit of Truth, who takes the things of Jesus and applies them to us.

Do not think that Christ has placed His joys on Heavenly shelves so we may climb up and retrieve them for ourselves; rather He draws near and sheds his peace abroad in our hearts. Christian, if you are tonight struggling under deep distress, your Father does not give you promises and then leave you to draw them up from the Word like buckets from a well. The promises He has written in the Word He will write afresh on your heart....So Jesus not only gives you the sweet wine of His promise, but He holds the golden cup to your lips and pours the lifeblood into your mouth. The poor, sick, worn out pilgrim is not merely strengthened to walk, but he is lifted up on eagle's wings.

Glorious Gospel that provides everything for the helpless, that draws near to us when we cannot reach it ourselves -- it brings us grace before we seek grace! There is as much glory in the giving as in the gift. Happy people who have the Holy Spirit to bring Jesus to them!"

Provisions of Grace

Sorry it's been over a month since my last entry (if anyone is still checking in). I didn't expect to be this busy! Here's my best attempt to capture the journey this last month has been:

It's probably best described in three categories: Struggle, Faithfulness, and Growth. These have been challenging weeks for me....and very revealing ones. I'm not totally sure of the starting point, but somewhere in there Isaiah hit a growth spurt that left him crying ALL day and me about to lose my mind. It felt like it lasted forever. If he wasn't eating or sleeping he was screaming (this really isn't an exaggeration), and even then he was eating every two hours....including through the night. I was spoiled by his previous 5-7 hour stretches of sleep at night so this was extremely frustrating. He had been through growth spurts before, but none like this. As the days wore on I was feeling angry at him, exhausted and like I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I didn't even want to be around him. Josh had a hard time understanding that which made me feel even worse (and of course he didn't....he wasn't with him all day). On top of this we were hit with financial issues. We had basically gone through Josh's check half way through the month (he gets paid once a month) and were wondering how we were going to pay the rest of our bills. Now I get REALLY stressed about money....to the point that I nearly hyperventilate....I know, a little dramatic. I don't know why, but few things cause me more anxiety. I was wondering if we had done the right thing in me staying home and if I should start to look for a part time job. On top of this I had taken on entirely too much by committing myself to several people at the same time and was running around exhausted and delirious.

Sooo....all of this came to a head last Friday when we were supposed to go the Mts and pick apples (his parents had made it possible for us to go for a night). We had planned to leave that morning but didn't get out until late afternoon. I had a huge breakdown. Uncontrolable crying and sobbing all while trying to get everything off my chest to Josh. I felt totally helpless with no end in sight. I think this is where the turn around began (at least partially).

Josh was so sweet and just held me (and Isaiah) and let me cry while reminding me of God's promise to provide for us. He reminded me of what God had called me to as Isaiah's mom and that He was for our good in all that we were going through. He prayed through so many verses that my fearful heart desperately needed to hear....and still need to hear.

We left to go the mountains and had a wonderful, much needed time away. Although Isaiah wasn't fully out of his growth spurt he was much better, and this week he's been a different baby. He's content and happy most of the day and finally is back into his schedule and sleeping 6 hours at night. I love being a mom again! I felt like Isaiah and I needed the trip just as much as Josh and I did! It was really therapeutic just being in the fresh air and sunshine with the beautiful fall scenery all around us.

The financial struggle didn't stop once we got home, but we've seen some strong signs of God's provision and also learned some important lessons. We feel like God is bringing us through this partly to teach us greater responsibility and stewardship with our money. We're not big spenders, but neither of us have ever made a budget. We just freeze all spending when we're fearful. It's become VERY clear that God would have us learn to budget. It does my heart good to see a clear purpose for all this.

Another evidence of God's provision happened a few days ago. Josh had made extra money helping his brother paint and was carrying that cash with him. I told him we needed to deposit it to pay a bill, but when he counted it, it was considerably less than I thought (hense, need for a budget). I was so stressed I could barely breathe. I spent a lot of my time worrying about how to pay this bill, but when Josh pulled the cash out to count it again it was at least $30 more than he counted the day before. It was just enough to cover the bill! I don't know if money had gotten stuck together or if God had miraculously put the money in his wallet but I know that was God telling us that His promise holds true....He WILL meet our needs!

I still need this reminder....even today my heart was anxious when a friend called and just opened up about her own financial struggles and tendency to worry. She reminded me of the faithfulness of our God and His call on us as moms. She reminded me of how blessed we are to be home with our babies. God gave her exactly what I needed to hear and even as I write I see more and more ways God has been meeting my every need.


23Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
--1 Thess. 5:23-24

What I'm learning part 2

22. Lactation consultants are nothing short of miracle workers.
23. My skin would totally change and go crazy after delivery.
24. A shower can be therapeutic.
25. Time with God is still hard to schedule.
26. My husband still thinks I'm beautiful...more stretch marks and all.
27. I CAN stay in the house several days in a row and not go nuts.
28. Isaiah sleeping on my chest is precious beyond words.
29. I already cry at the thought of him growing up.
30. It's a lot easier to be assertive and direct when I need to be.
31. A camera is a priceless comodity.
32. Nothing in the world compares to Isaiah's smile.
33. There's an instant connection with other moms I didn't anticipate.
34. There's a much deeper connection with my mom.
35. Communication with Josh would require a lot more effort.
36. Much advise is given about preparing to be a mom and not enough about preparing your marriage for becoming a mom.
37. Date nights are a MUST....not a luxury.
38. Other moms are the greatest diamonds of wisdom and experience waiting to be asked.
39. I need to be reminded that I was a person before I was Isaiah's mom.
40. Friends that really know me well (Meghann) do that for me.

What I'm learning as a mom

1. Having an eternal soul enter this world through your body is truly a miracle.
2. I'm really selfish with my time and my agenda.
3. A date with your husband over Burger King IS a big deal!
4. A 3 hour schedule makes the day fly by.
5. I get done very little during the day.
6. I am very capable of getting mad at a newborn when I don't understand why he keeps crying.
7. A cesarean delivery is not scary.
8. Recovery is not scary.
9. Nursing a baby nicknamed "the Hoover" is.
10. I have a guilt complex about asking Josh for help when he comes home.
11. I need A LOT of help.
12. Staying a home requires a whole lot of discipline to do anything other than watch TV.
13. Post partum weight loss doesn't just come from nursing....you don't have time to eat!
14. We are surrounded by people who love to serve young parents.
15. Just when I think I've figured out a certain cry, Isaiah changes the meaning.
16. It takes at least an extra hour to get anywhere.
17. Cuddle time with Josh is so precious.
18. The fact that "it's not about me anymore" requires a much bigger change of heart than I realized.
19. I have sooo much to learn, it almost makes me feel like a child again.
20. My parents love me more than I ever comprehended before.
21. My Heavenly Father loves me more than I ever comprehended before.

More later...

Trying out a new hair do...

So Josh and I had some fun after bath time tonight at Isaiah's expense, although, he doesn't look too traumatized.

This is an attempt to look like big cousin Kayden who has a natural mohawk (he has a double crown...no kidding!).

Next, we'll try the messy look to be like Daddy!

Watch out girls!!!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Introducing.....


ISAIAH
STEVEN


Born August 6, 2006
11:32pm

7 lbs 11 oz 21 in


Welcome, sweet Isaiah and thank you, Jesus for this precious little boy.

















The short version:

We were playing cards with friends late Saturday night/Sunday morning when my water broke. We got to the hospital at 1:20 and was admitted a couple of hours later. After awhile with only 2 cm dialated and no super strong contractions they started me on Pitocin. About 16 hours later they had continuously raised the amount of Pitocin they were giving me until they hit the most amount they could. Dr. Jones came in (I absolutely LOVE that man!) once again to check me and very gently told me that I was STILL only 2 cm and that the only real option was for us to go ahead with a c-section. At that point, I was totally fine with that. Later he told me that one of my pelvic bones sits in such a way that the baby's head pushes against it but couldn't get past it. Therefore, all other children will be born the same way....following suit from my mom so no huge shock there.

Josh's cousin, Amy, happens to be the head nurse/manager in Labor and Delivery so she prepped us for the whole process of major surgery (which I had never gone through before), and then took me back to the OR. They gave me a spinal block and by the time they let Josh come in he said he saw the scaple go down....yikes! He QUICKLY rushed past that and took his seat at my head. Amy was there the whole time and, knowing that squeemishness runs in Josh's family, she did a great job helping him deal with it all. When they finally got to Isaiah's head Amy turned to Josh and said, "Josh, stand up! Here's the head!" Josh, with huge eyes, said, "Uh...I don't know..." So she said again, "Josh, stand up! You're going to miss it!" So he did and I cannot convey the sound in his voice as he started laughing and crying at the same time and said, "It's Isaiah! It's Isaiah!" (we didn't know what we were having so I asked the doctors to let Josh tell me the name of our baby). I have never heard my husband sound like that. He almost sounded like a little boy himself just overwhelmed with emotion. It was so precious and surreal.

They showed Isaiah to me and then wisked him away for weighing, measuring, etc and Josh, of course, went with them to cut the cord and just cry and laugh some more. We stayed in the hospital until Thursday evening to get all the help we could from the doctors, nurses, lactation consultants and pediatricians who were constantly in and out of our room. Our stay there was filled with a steady flow of family and friends visiting, but also plenty of down time for us to rest and just be together as a family. With the exception of the chair/bed that messed Josh's back up, we really enjoyed our time there.

And Isaiah is the most amazing gift God could give us. I never knew I would feel this way about a little person. I was constantly afraid that I wasn't bonding with him during pregnancy and that I wouldn't be nurturing enough or I would get impatient with him really easily. I'm just in awe of how God puts in us exactly what we need to do what He calls us to.

He'll be 2 weeks old Sunday and I already get misty thinking of him growing up. He's changed so much since his birth. I remember one of the doctor's in the OR saying, "He's got red hair!" That was a big surprise to us, but already it has started to darken and he's filling out all over (he's a good eater!).

Thank you to everyone who has prayed us through this whole process (please continue!), come to see us, brought us meals, lavished us with baby presents and have just loved and cared for us so well. We couldn't have imagined the love and care we've recieved. We feel God's kindness to our family through you.

Keep checking back as there will be much more on little Isaiah later....


Look at those feet! Definitely Daddy's boy!

Stuff on the walls!

It's not a ton, but definitely a start. Although, it makes a huge difference with all that green!

(Josh is afraid the color is going to overstimulate our child resulting in no sleep and a bright glow coming from the nursery at all times....it'll be ok, sweetie!)

We've decided that we want to paint a verse on the wall over the changing table. Any ideas on how we can pull this off???

3 Cheers for Pitocin!!!

So, we went to the Dr today and after all the hello's and handshakes he immediately proceeds to tell us that there is no longer a question of if they'll induce but now it's when they'll induce. He went right ahead and put us on the schedule to be induced at 7:00am Tues morning.

Then...he checked me and said, "Oh! You've progressed further than I thought!" Apparently, the membrane stretching trick worked and got me to a whopping 2 cm and 70% effacement. I was very encouraged about the effacement progression because they haven't told me anything about that for the last 3 visits so I had no idea where I was. He was talking a mile a minute all while "checking" me which was extremely uncomfortable this time (which I realized later was because he was stretching me again and was a lot more aggressive about it than the Dr I saw last week). But what I heard was that I have about a 50% chance of delivering on my own over the weekend, but he would keep me scheduled for Tues morning just in case. So that was encouraging.

So far today, I've felt uncomfortable....more pressure and cramping at times...but nothing big. We went straight to Concord Mills to walk and try to get this baby out ourselves. Then after a short nap we went out to eat with Josh's family and hung out at his parent's house until just a little while ago. That was fun and everyone seems super excited.

Thank you guys for bearing through all the details (Josh says I write too much) and checking in on us. I have felt so loved and cared for through this whole pregnancy, but especially here at the end. We are truly very blessed. This baby has no idea how loved it is by so many people!

Quick update

For those of you checking in on us, tomorrow is our baby's due date!!! However, nothing "seems" to be happening.....yet, anyway. At my appt last Friday I was still just 1 cm (same as the week before) so they stripped my membranes which sounds so awful but it really wasn't even that uncomfortable. The Dr just wanted to try to get me to 2 cm, but who knows if it worked. I was a little crampy that night and EXTREMELY emotional which led to a huge cry fest at almost no warning. So apparently I am not in any way hormone deficient!

I have an appt tomorrow at 1:15pm and they told me that if nothing had happened by then we would talk about scheduling induction....oh boy! I am so tired of waiting around barely able to do anything, but at the same time I realize that these are the last precious days I have left with just me and Josh so I'm not sure I want to rush that away.

So, that's about it for us....we're headed to Walmart for travel sized toiletries so we can get our bag packed tonight (still haven't done that). Maybe the walking around will help.....and, by the way, if anyone knows of things that really help get labor going, please comment.

One more thing, we just changed our internet service and also had our home phone disconnected (trying to cut bills down) so for right now please send emails to my old hotmail address and call our cell phones if you need us. If you don't have this info, comment and I'll get it to you.

More soon....

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!

Picture commentary: This is our crib and changing table. It's dark wood and off sets our bright green room but still nothing on the walls so it's still pretty bright. The baby doll is our "training" baby for Max. We're trying to get him used to having a baby around who gets most of our attention. (I think he's going to have a hard time with that) It also doubles as Josh's prop for his new video monitor. At random times throughout the day and night he checks the monitor to make sure the baby is ok.

My precious husband has been working so hard trying to keep up wth all my demands and "needs" :)

And this is a very swollen and pregnant me. I don't even care about doing my hair these days, but no, I don't have a crew cut.

No baby yet and we have been running around like little headless chickens! The last week and a half have been filled with baby furniture and a million house projects. Last week we went to Fayetteville (which reminded me once again why it is lovingly referred to as "Fayette-nam") with Josh's mom Patti, and brother Chris to pick up our nursery furniture. It is even better than we anticipated! We absolutely love it! Josh's parents are some of the most generous people I have ever met and this was among the MANY baby gifts they have showered on us....we are extremely blessed.

In the midst of assembling a large crib and changing table/dresser Josh and Chris continued in their venture of painting almost the entire interior of our house (Chris was a painter and has been so sweet to help us)! We have wanted to paint for about 2 1/2 years now and just figured that if we waited until the baby comes we'll never do it. Plus, we would like to sell our house in the next year or so and it desperately needed the makeover!

So our house has felt like absolute chaos for the last week with all our living room furniture in the middle of the room, nothing on the walls, no blinds, paint cans, brushes and rollers on the kitchen counters, etc. I've pretty much been locked up in our bedroom until the fumes clear out but I have to say that the guys have done a great job and the house looks SO much better. I feel bad being selfish and wanting everything to return to normal, but it's hard imagining bringing a baby home to what feels like a construction site. At least the nursery is on it's way to being finished (waiting on the glider and ottoman to come in), although there's still work to be done there too.

And by the way, how exactly is one to predict how many onesies, sleepers, pants, etc a newborn will need before growing into 3 mo and up sizes??? This has had me puzzled for days now as I try to decide what to wash and what to take back and exchange. Alll the estimates I've read have seemed so high compared to the number of moms who have told me that their baby was only in newborn clothes for a week. They're predicting this baby to be about 7 lbs but I think it will be bigger.

I have TONS of these questions and am so anxious that I won't have everything ready and clean for when our precious little one arrives. I feel sure this is normal but that doesn't make it go away.

To complicate things a little more, the Doctors have told me repeatedly that because of my severe puffyness in my feet and ankles (and I mean PUFFY!) I am to keep my feet elevated above my heart and keep walking around when I can......say what now?!? Whatever that means I have not done it well, but Josh stays on me about it. It literally takes several hours of elevation for even the resemblance of ankles to appear and as soon as I get up to use the bathroom, eat or whatever they're back to where we started....I give up (until it hurts to walk).

On a positive note, I'm officially 1 cm dialated and the baby has dropped (the Dr felt the head which was weird). When I asked him how much longer he said "could be tonight or 2 weeks from tonight"....thanks (I expected that).

So here are the ramblings of a 1st timer at the end (and biggest) part of these long 9 months. Thanks for having the patience to read it all and please pray for a peaceful heart that makes time to be with the Father as He brings us into this big life change and calling.

Testing out the new gear!

Samuel and Keziah are the first to test drive our new baby gear!

Now we can know if it's really "kid approved", although it's hard to tell what Keziah is thinking.

Looks like some more "testing" is needed.

Just curious.....

Did you or anyone you know travel close to their due date??? If so, how close and how did it turn out?

Our peaceful little nursery

So here's the nursery as of 2 days ago. When it's finished it will have different furniture and the theme is called "Malawi" which is a jungle theme. Yeah....we have a lot of work to do!

July 4th Baby Shower

Ok, so let me just say that I had to get over a lot of personal pride in publishing this belly pic, however it still doesn't do justice to how puffy and huge I feel right now. I have other much more flattering pictures that I'll put on here soon

That being said....for July 4th my family gave us a shower and I wanted to just share a couple pictures from that. It was so much fun and as you can tell even Josh feels 100% ready to dive into his "new Daddy" duties. He was given a "Dad's Diaper Duty Device" tool belt complete with rubber gloves, tongs, goggles, face mask, hand santizer, diapers, wipes, toys, etc. He is fearless and ready to go (bring on the meconium!).

Since our nursery theme is jungle safari my sister Doria made us a HUGE diaper cake with the middle tier made out of receiving blankets and burp cloths. Isn't she creative??? I still have a towel cake she made for our wedding. She also told me that her shower gift to us is inside the cake! It will have to wait because I'm not pulling that thing apart anytime soon.

We have also been so blessed by Josh's family who gave us a shower last Sunday and I will publish pictures of that as soon as I get them. We had such a good time and are starting to feel more prepared and ready to take on this huge change in our lives thanks to Godly, loving and generous families! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

A quick update on our pregnancy is that our baby has been measuring a little small so we had another ultrasound done. Basically the baby's head circumference is about 6 days behind which we were told was not a big deal at all and that there is a lot of variation towards the end of pregnancy because of genetics. I was pretty surprised since I'm from a family of big-headed babies (we were all c-sections) and Josh was almost 10 lbs when he was born. I'm praying this means easier delivery (fingers crossed). I was also told at my last check up that I have started to efface.....YEAH!!! (I know that process can take forever, but at least it has started!) So, we're now 3 weeks from due date! So far, I have been sleeping a lot and trying to get some cleaning done every day so that when nesting hits I won't be completely overwhelmed. We've also been working on the nursery (although only we can tell) and our furniture should be here in the next week or so. In addition to that, Josh is rallying the troops to help him paint almost the entire house and caulk all the chair railing before baby gets here. I think that sounds like the perfect time for me to go to the beach!

More updates soon.....